Hole In My Heart
by twilightfanjm
Summary: Nessie disappears mysteriously leaving everyone thinking that she is dead. Months later Jacob finds two babies and a note telling him to take care of the babies. Who are these babies and where did they come from? What happens when they show themselves to be shape shifters years later? Will their mystery ever be solved? Is Nessie really dead? (On Hold)
1. Pain

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing but this story and my original characters**

**Chapter 1: Pain **

**Jacob's POV**

I heard my cellphone ring for the millionth time this morning. I didn't even bother to see who it was. I wasn't in the mood to do much these days but wallow in my own pain and misery.

How could I do anything else? Renesmee, my little Nessie, the love of my life just vanished without a trace. She was gone. I'm still trying to come to terms with what happened. Not even the Cullens are sure what happened. She was just here one day and gone the next. Where had she gone? Was she alive or dead? Did freaking Volturi have something to do with this? I didn't know, all I knew is that there was a gaping hole in my chest where my heart should be. The hole was getting bigger and bigger with each passing day. Soon there would be nothing left of me. It was just pure agony not knowing where she was. She was most likely dead though. We would have found her a long time ago if she had been alive.

I looked outside and saw that it was snowing very heavily outside. The weather just seemed to reflect my mood.

The cellphone rang again. I saw that it was Quil who was trying to get in contact with me. I picked up the phone and smashed it against the wall in anger. Can't they tell that I'm not interested in talking to anyone?! The only person that I'm interested in hearing from is my Nessie and most likely I will never hear from her again because chances are that she is dead! We've searched everywhere for her and we haven't found her so it's most likely that she is dead.

I had just sat down to eat breakfast when I heard a faint crying sound coming from outside. It stopped almost as soon as it had started. So maybe I had just imagined the whole thing.

Then the crying started again a few minutes later and I couldn't deny it any longer. There was something out there. I went and opened the door and saw a huge basket with numerous blankets inside it. There was, without a doubt, a very small something squirming underneath all the blankets. I pulled back the blankets and let out a small gasp when I saw two babies, one boy and one girl, in the basket. Both of them were crying. Both of them felt unnaturally warm. They had been left to the elements to long. I immediately took them both inside.

There was also a note in the basket. What was this freaking Harry Potter?!

The note read:

_Please take care of my babies. I wish I could, but sadly I'm unable to. Please don't take them to an orphanage, they deserve a caring and loving home and you can give them that. I know you will be perfect for them. They were born just past midnight this morning. I didn't name them so you can call them whatever you like. _

I reread the note a few times because I couldn't quite understand it. Their mother, whoever she was, left her children with me on purpose. Why? Who was this woman? Why would she abandon her own children? I couldn't take care of two babies. No, I had to take them to an orphanage.

Then one of them started crying. It was the girl. I picked her up and right away she stopped crying and she looked up and me and I could have sworn that she smiled a toothless grin. No! I mentally slapped myself. I could not let these babies win me over. I was not going to keep them.

She really was adorable though. She kind of looked like Nessie when she was born. Her brother also kind of looked like me as a baby.

Okay, I need to stop thinking of them this way. I could not get attached. No way no how.

First thing is first, these two needed to see a doctor badly. They had probably been out there for a really long time and it seemed like they were sick now.

I decided to call the first person that I could think of; Dr. Fang. Then I remembered that I had smashed my phone beyond repair. Damned, I guess I was just going to have to spend money on a brand new one.

I wrapped the both of them in blankets and decided to just run to the Cullen house as fast as I could. I couldn't take them in my car since I didn't have any car seats for them.

I knocked on the door and by luck Carlisle was the one to open.

He looked surprised to see me. "Jacob what are you doing here and why do you have two babies?" he asked clearly in confusion.

"These two babies were left on my doorstep. I think they're sick" I said.

"Okay come in. I'll check them over" he said.

"They have developed pneumonia but it's not life threatening yet. We caught it just in time" Carlisle explained. I was relieved to hear that. I felt connected to these two babies in an odd way and I didn't want anything to happen to them. Carlisle started giving them some sort of medicine. It was sad to know that they were so young and yet they were already sick.

Not long after Carlisle had left I went over to them. The boy had fallen asleep but the girl was wide awake. She looked scared so I picked her up and right away she relaxed. She started to nod off in my arms. I decided to call her Carlie, in the memory of Renesmee. Wait, hadn't I decided that I was going to take them to an orphanage? I can't name them, naming means getting attached. _Oh who am I kidding? _I thought as little Carlie let out a big yawn before completely falling asleep in my arms. _I'm already attached to these two. _

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	2. Babies

**Chapter 2: Babies**

**Jacob's POV**

Little Carlie continued to sleep peacefully in my arms. I couldn't believe everything that had happened in one day. How could I have gone from pain and misery just a few hours ago to a father of two babies? I didn't understand why I felt so compelled to keep them both. Why did I feel such a strong attachment to a stranger's babies? I didn't understand it one bit. All I knew is that I already loved little Carlie and her brother so much. Speaking of him, I still had to think of a name for the little guy. I looked at him and thought about it for a while until finally a name came to me; Jace. He looked like a Jace to me. I didn't really know why though.

Jace and Carlie; my two babies. I took a vow right then and there that I'd always protect my children from anything and anyone. No one was ever going to hurt these two kids.

Then Carlisle came back in and said "I'm going to call social services"

"No" I said.

"Jacob we have to. These kids were abandoned. They belong to the government now" he said.

"No, they belong to me. I want to keep them. There was a note in the basket asking me to take care of these two and I want to do it" I said.

"Do you know who wrote it?" Carlisle asked.

I sighed " No, there was no signature. All I know is that I want to keep them" I said.

"Okay" Carlisle said. "but we still have to contact the government to legalize the adoption" he said.

"Yeah, I know that" I said. It did make sense. If I didn't legally adopt these babies then they aren't technically my kids. It would also be like the kids didn't exist in the government's eyes.

"Can I see the girl?" Carlisle asked.

"Carlie" I said a little defensively.

"Excuse me?" Carlisle said.

"Her name is Carlie" I said.

"Can I see Carlie?" Carlisle asked.

I didn't want to give her up. I wanted to continue to hold her for the rest of forever. I also knew that was completely illogical; all Carlisle wanted to do was make sure that she got completely healthy.

Carlisle was still looking at me waiting for me to pass her over to him. I sighed before I gently passed her over to him. Right away her little eyes opened up. She started to whimper. I resisted the urge to go and snatch her from Carlisle's arms. I was sure that she was just reacting to the sudden change in temperature against her skin. Carlisle took his time checking her over before moving on to Jace.

"They're both improving already" Carlisle said.

"What do you suggest?" I asked.

"I suggest leaving them with me for a few days so I can monitor them and then you can take them home" he said.

"Thanks Carlisle" I said.

He just smiled at me with a lot of compassion. "It's what I do" he said.

I knew that they were in good care with Carlisle so I didn't worry to much. I just wished that they would heal faster so I could take them home already.

The next few days went by agonizingly slow as I prepared for them to come home with me. It was hard figuring out what I had to buy and how much I had to buy. Figuring out what diapers to buy was one of the hardest. First there were so many different brands to choose from. Then they all had different designs on them. The trickiest part was figuring out what size I needed to buy. I didn't even know that diapers came in different sizes! Eventually I figured out that it goes by the weight of the baby. Who knew that something as simple as buying diapers was so complicated?!

I also did research of things ranging from how to make baby formula to how to change a diaper. Who knew that fathering could be so complicated.

I had also given up my position as alpha of the pack. Being alpha demands a lot of responsibility and I wanted to be able to spend more time with my kids. So on approval with the rest of the pack Leah stepped up as the alpha. The first ever female alpha I might add. Now I was the one following her around. I didn't want to quit shape shifting all together. I was never going to give up shape shifting. I needed to stay young and immortal in case I ever found Nessie. The hole in my heart throbbed painfully whenever her name even crossed my mind. If she were here then my happiness would be completed.

Finally about two weeks after I took the babies to Carlisle were they ready to come home. I was excited and I couldn't wait to finally bring them home.

I drove as fast as I could safely do so to the Cullens. They were all there waiting for me. Bella was holding Jace and Edward was holding Carlie. The Cullens had grown extremely attached to my babies. In a way I think it made them a little bit happier. It eased the pain of losing Nessie.

"You make sure that you take good care of these two" Edward said in a sort of threatening way as he passed Carlie to me. Honestly you'd think that these were his kids.

"You better Jacob" Bella added. "Also, a little warning. Little Jace here is a sprayer"

I was confused now. "What does that mean?" I asked.

They both broke out into harmonious bell like laughter. "Oh you'll see" Bella said with an evil smile on her face.

"Okay" I said as I tried to hide my confusion.

Both of my kids fell asleep on the short trip back home. I carefully got them out of the car without waking them up. I took them in and carefully placed them in their cribs. I smiled as I looked at the both of them. I couldn't believe that I was their adoptive father; they were my adoptive babies. They remained peacefully asleep for a little while until Jace began to wake up and whimper before it turned into a full on cry. Welcome to fatherhood I guess. I went and got him. Right away I noticed that his diaper smelled horrible. I knew that he needed a change so I took him to the changing table that I had gotten.

I unfastened the diaper and watched it unravel. How do I start? Before I could think about it a stream of pee shot up and hit me in the face and chest and it just wouldn't stop coming up at me.

"Are you done mister?" I asked once the little devil stopped peeing on me. Now I knew what Bella meant by "sprayer". The little devil had gotten not only me, but himself, the entire changing table, and the wall behind me wet.

I just cleaned him as fast as I could and put him in a new diaper before it could happen again. I also cleaned up the rest of the mess.

Then the doorbell rang. It was Seth. His idiotic smile just got bigger as he looked at me before breaking into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

"What is so funny?" I asked.

"You do know that you're covered in baby pee, right?" he said.

"Yes, now is there anything in particular that you need?" I asked. I was getting annoyed now.

"Actually yes, Leah sent me" he said.

"Okay fine. Wait here while I go and get changed" I said. Changing took about five minutes. When I came back Seth was holding Carlie and looking at her as if she were the most beautiful person in the world. As if had been blind before and he was seeing the sun for the first time. Oh no he didn't!

"Oh no Seth you better not have done what I think you did" I said through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry Jake. You know we can't control it" he said defensively.

"How dare you imprint on my daughter!" I said a little to loudly.

"Jake you of all people know that we can't control who it happens with. You know all I want is for her to be safe and happy. Just like you" he said.

He was right. I had been in his position before. Imprinting is something that can't be controlled.

"Fine, but if you ever hurt her I will hurt you. Is that understood?" I said in a threatening way.

"I won't ever hurt her. I promise" he said.

"Good" was all I could say in response.

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	3. 16 Years Later

**Chapter 3: 16 Years Later**

**Carlie's POV**

I slammed the alarm on my nightstand so hard that I was surprised that it didn't break. I was so not in the mood to go through another day of hell; also known as school. Normally I wouldn't mind going it's just that lately I have not been feeling well at all. Something is wrong with me, but I just can't figure out what it is. It's really scaring me.

I heard my father's footsteps approaching my room and I groaned before he burst through the door without even bothering to knock.

"Carlie you were supposed to get up 45 minutes ago. Why are you still in bed?!" he shouted.

"I don't feel good dad. I don't want to go to school" I said.

"Not this again. You are not going to try telling me that you a 109 degree fever again are you? I can't believe that you think I'm stupid enough to believe that" he said angrily.

"but it's true dad. I'm not lying" I said.

He just seemed to get angrier "normal people don't have fevers that high" he said. He was getting more and more mad. "now if you're not dressed in five minutes I will double your grounding lady" he said.

"Okay fine dad!" I shouted.

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me young lady!" dad said. "Honestly I don't know what happened to the sweet little girl that was you" he added before leaving and slamming my bedroom door.

I felt a few tears fall down my face after he had left. It wasn't just because he yelled at me, although that was certainly part of it. The main reason is because I didn't know what happened to that _sweet little girl that was me _either.

For the past few months I've been going through a lot of changes that I can't understand. These changes are really scaring me and I know that it has something to do with my sudden influx of anger issues. I've skipped the last three periods even though I've never even had sex so there was no way that I could be pregnant. I haven't told anyone about the missed periods because it's to embarrassing of a topic to bring up with anyone. I've had a permanent fever for the past month. Every time that I check my temperature it shows to be an astounding 109 degrees. I've taken my temperature numerous times and it always comes out the same. The problem is that my dad doesn't believe me when I tell him. He keeps on saying "normal people don't have temperatures that high". I always want to laugh when he says that because I believe that our family defies the very logic of normal. Normal people age, and ever since I was eight years old I've noticed that my dad and the rest of my family, also known as the Cullens, haven't aged a day. They're keeping secrets from Jace and I. Secrets that they've promised to tell us when we're 18 years old. Just two years away now. I didn't understand what the big deal was. Isn't 16 old enough to know?

"Carlie!" I heard dad shout.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back.

I threw on my tank top which completed my outfit.

I went to the kitchen where m y dad and my brother were waiting for me. My dad looked at my out fit in disapproval. "Aren't those shorts just a little to short for you?" he asked being the overprotective father that he always has been. I don't see him telling Jace how to dress.

"I'm not going against school dress code" I replied.

"Watch that attitude young lady" dad said sternly.

I didn't say anything. I just got poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down.

"One more thing Carlie. If you yell at a teacher one more time or you get into one more fight you won't leave this house until you go to college. Is that understood?" he said.

"Yes dad" I said.

I really hated this; whatever is happening to me that is. Whatever is happening to me has damaged that strong father-daughter relationship that I used to have with my father. I just missed the way things used to be. I missed the days when he was proud to call me his daughter. Now I think I'm just a huge disappointment to him. I got into fights and arguments with everybody over anything these days. I get easily angered; so angered that lately I even tremble like I'm having convulsions. Nobody knows about the trembling though. The bottom line is that this isn't who I am.

I got on the bus with my brother and we rode to school in silence. Even he has kept his distance from me lately. Now we hardly even talk to each other anymore. He wouldn't understand anyway. He hasn't gone through any unusual changes. Not that I could tell anyway. He thinks that I've just gone crazy and needed a space. I can't even count the number of times that he has laughed at my fever.

Once we got to school we parted ways and went to our classes. My third period History class was the absolute worst class of the day. It wasn't because I hated History, no it was because I had to sit next to Jessica. Also known as the biggest drama queen in the school and also the biggest bitch that there ever was. God knows how I can't stand her.

Hopefully she wouldn't annoy the hell out of me today because we had a test that would count for a quarter of our grade. Not that she cares about school as much as she cares about putting on her make up ever ten minutes.

About half an hour later she starts poking me. As soon as I look at her she shouts "Mrs. Watson Carlie is looking at my test!"

Our teacher then looks at me. "Carlie come give me your test. You get an automatic zero for cheating"

"but she's lying. I didn't look at her test!" I shouted back. I could not believe that this was happening.

"Carlie bring me the test now. Then you will go to the principle's office for further action" she said as she wrote down my "offense" on a note.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" I screamed. I was starting to tremble now. Everyone was looking at me as if they were waiting for me to explode which may not be far off.

"Cheating and screaming at a teacher. That'll just get you in more trouble" she said. "So I suggest you stop lying and screaming right now"

The trembling just worst as she added more "offenses" to that damned note.

She handed me my slip. As I was walking out I was the only one who saw Jessica smile evilly at me. I slammed that damned door behind me and stormed out.

I couldn't take this anymore. Instead of heading to the principle's office I veered left and stormed out of the building. Surely I was going to get expelled now, so who cares if I walk out now? I couldn't stand being there anymore.

I headed straight to the forest. The shaking was way past beyond my control now. I let out of a scream of frustration and anger. I just let myself feel all of the emotions that were pent up inside of my body just begging to be released. I felt like I was exploding from the anger as my body expanded to several times my normal height. That scream had suddenly turned into vicious animal like snarls and growls. Then I ran faster then I ever had in my whole life. I skidded to a halt when I saw that my hands had suddenly turned into furry white paws. Then I realized that I had been running on all fours like an animal. What happened to me?! Was I crazy?! I didn't know but I was seriously scared now. Even more so then I had been in the past few months.

I smelled a pond nearby I ran towards it. I wasn't sure what I was going to see when I looked at my reflection, but it sure wasn't this. I was a wolf, a huge bear or horse sized white wolf.

Completely overcome by fear and panic I ran deep into the forest and hid. Was I crazy?1 Was I having delusions?! What was wrong with me?! People don't turn into wolves and wolves don't turn into people. That's just not the way the world works. What was I? What happened to me? I didn't know. All I knew was that I was completely panic struck.

Hours went by and nothing changed. I was still stuck as this giant beast with no way of knowing how to change back into a human. I was just so scared and confused. I had never been this scared and confused in my life. I just wished that there was someone that could explain what the heck is going on here!

I left the cave that I had been hiding in and started wondering around again. I started pacing again as I looked at the sun setting. I knew my dad and my brother must be worried sick about me. I wondered what my dad would say if I told him I turned into a wolf? He'd probably have me committed.

I started walking until I hit the main road. Hardly anyone drove on this road. Then I saw my dad coming. He looked extremely worried. I was sure that I was the cause of the worry.

He looked at me and stared for a second. "A new wolf. I wonder who joined the pack now" he said. So my dad knew something about what was going on with me!

I chased after him. I was going to get him to recognize me somehow. That way he'd explain things to me.

I was surprised by how easy I was able to keep up with his car. I stopped right in front of him and caused him to slam on the brakes.

"Stupid wolf!" he screamed. "Get out of the damned way! I'm looking for my daughter who is missing so move!" he screamed.

How do I give him the message that I am his daughter?!

"Move you stupid wolf!" he screamed.

Instead of moving I just laid down and sprawled out my body to let him know that I would do no such thing.

He just got angrier.

"Okay then I guess I'm just going to have to run you over then" he said

He wouldn't! Then he put the car in motion and started moving towards me. I tried to get out of the way as fast as I could but he still managed to run over one of my front paws. I screamed out in pain when I felt it break in multiple different places.

"That should teach you. You stupid boy" dad said.

Oh great! Now I'm a wolf with a broken paw! My own dad didn't even try to recognize me! What was I going to do now?!

After a few minutes the pain in my paw subsided but I still couldn't quite put it on the floor correctly. Something was still wrong because it wasn't functioning correctly.

This is just great! I'm scared, confused, alone, and now injured to top it off. I had to limp back to my hiding place.

What was I going to do now?! At this rate I was never going to figure out what was happening and how to turn back!

Hours went by and it started snowing pretty badly. Luckily I had all this fur to help fight off the cold.

I sighed, it looked like I was just going to have to figure it out tomorrow. I let out a big wolfy yawn and let myself drift off to sleep. I was awakened by a sharp biting pain in my neck. I yelped and then I saw a giant russet colored wolf that was about my size. He was growling at me angrily.

"_Shouldn't you be out looking for her?!" _a strange voice that sounded disturbingly like my dad said in my head.

"_You stupid boy. You haven't figured out that we can hear each other's thoughts yet" _the voice said.

"_Dad_" I thought. The other wolf stopped growling and went from angry to confused.

"_Carlie?"_ he asked.

"_Yeah dad it's me" _I said. He ran up to me and started licking my face to death. The strange thing is that I was doing it to him to. He started crying and I licked his large salty tears away.

"_I was so worried about you. I don't understand how you're a wolf though. This wasn't supposed to happen to you" _he said.

"_What do you mean?" _I asked.

"_Only some members of the tribe have the shape shifting gene. You aren't from here. At least that's what we all thought" _he said.

"_what's wrong with your paw?" _he asked.

"_You ran it over"_ I said.

"_I'm so sorry Carlie. I really am" _he said. "_Now everything else makes sense to"_

"_I don't understand" _I said.

"_You had all the signs of the wolf and I completely missed them" _he said.

"_Can you just explain everything please" _I said.

"_Of course I will. I have to tell you everything that I was going to wait until you were 18 to tell you" _he said.

I snuggled closer to him as he began explaining.

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	4. Secrets

**Chapter 4: Secrets**

**Carlie's POV**

I just laid there and listened to my dad as he began explaining how the myths and legends of the tribe were all really facts. It was quite fascinating really. I couldn't believe everything that I was hearing. I was also really happy to finally be in on the secrets that my family has kept from Jace and I all of these years.

I must've fallen asleep sometime through all of his explanations because one minute I'm listening to him and the next I'm being aroused by the sound of someone snoring softly into my ear.

I opened my eyes and realized that we were still in that same cave that we'd been in the night before. My head was rested on my father's paws and his head was rested on top of my own.

As weird as it seems, I hadn't been that happy in a long time. Sure I was a wolf with no idea where I inherited the ability from. Sure the activated wolf genes brought me a lot of hardship lately, but I was just happy to finally understand what was going on with me. What I was most happy about though was that I was closer to my father again. Now we could bond with each other over a mutual secret. We could be closer then we ever were before.

I got up slowly so that I would not wake up my father. I let out a huge yawn as I stretched out my body and legs.

I felt my stomach growling, and then I realized that I hadn't eaten since breakfast yesterday. I was eager because I wanted to try hunting in this form. I thought that it would be fun to hunt as a wolf.

I left my dad there. I hoped that he would stay asleep while I was gone. I didn't want him to come looking for me. Also, I really wanted to surprise him.

I was able to track down a herd of deer with ease. They looked like they would be an easy prey. I snuck up behind one, and despite my injured paw, I pounced on him rather quickly. Once I was sure that he was dead I dragged his dead carcass all the way back to the cave where my dad was still sleeping soundly.

I left again and returned to that same herd of deer to kill another. By the time that I got back my dad was barely starting to wake up.

"_Carlie, what are you doing?" _he asked.

"_Bringing you breakfast"_ I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"_You hunted those on your own?" _he asked, clearly in shock.

"_Yes" _I responded.

"_Shouldn't you be angry at me?_" he asked.

"_Why would I be angry at you?" _I asked. Well, he did run me over, I was a little angry about that.

"_Exactly" _he said. "_I have been really harsh with you. Then I act immature and run you over! What is wrong with me?! Even if it hadn't been you I still should've known better. Yet here you are bringing me food as if I'm the best father in the world" _he said.

"_Dad it's okay, you were just desperate to find me, and you are the best father in the world" _I said.

"_I don't care. It was still a very stupid and immature thing for me to do. You know what? As soon as we're home I'm going to give you the keys to my car. I want you to run me over as payback. It'll make me feel better" _he said.

At first I thought that he was just messing with me. Then I realized that he was serious.

"_Dad are you crazy?! I'm not going to run you over! No way! You have absolutely lost your mind!" _I said.

"_Carlie-"_

"_Dad, no! I'm not going to do that!" _I said.

He let the subject drop after that as we ate.

"_We'll have to go to Carlisle so he can fix your paw" _dad said.

"_Okay but I think that it's a good idea for me to go home first. I should let Jace know that I'm okay, and I need a shower anyway" _I said.

"_Alright, I'll get you some clothes so you can phase back and go home. Meanwhile I'll let everyone else know that you're okay" _dad said.

"_Okay" _I said.

He came back a few minutes later with some clothes that looked like it would be just a little to big for me. Oh well, what choice did I have? Dad taught me how to phase back into human form. It took a few tries before I was finally able to do it.

I started walking back home while dad ran off to let everyone that I was okay and to call of the search parties that had been sent out looking for me.

I was a bit worried about going home. I was afraid of confronting my brother. He'd demand questions that I couldn't answer. Dad had made it very clear that I couldn't tell anyone, not even Jace, what happened to me. I was worried that the same thing would happen to him to. That he to would join the pack. It was clear that my family had tell him all of their secrets now just in case he wolfed out to. Dad just wasn't quite sure how we were going to tell him.

By the time that I had gotten home I still hadn't thought of what I was going to say to him. I sighed before I went in. This was the first time that we would actually have a conversation that lasted more then a few sentences. It had been six months since we last had a decent conversation together; coincidentally that was the time that I started going through the changes that would lead me to where I am now. Jace and I used to be so close before that. Now, we hardly talk, and he always laughed at me when I would complain about my fevers. He never believed me anymore. Sometimes I really believed that he stopped caring about me. No matter what though, I would always care about him.

When I walked in the door I didn't see him right away.

Then I saw him staring at me with a hard look in his eyes. He didn't move or say anything as he stared at me. He was angry, that much I could tell. Maybe it would have been better if dad came with me.

"Hi Jace" I said.

He got angrier. "Really Carlie? That's all you have to say?!" he said loudly.

"I don't know what you want to hear" I said.

"How about an explanation of where the hell you've been all night!" he shouted.

"That's none of your damned business! Now move out of my way!" I shouted, for he had blocked my path to the hallway.

"I think it's everyone's business! Don't you know how worried everyone has been?! What the hell has happened to you?! You cheat on a test! You storm out of school! Oh and by the way you've been kicked out in case you care to know!" Jace screamed.

"What?!" I screamed back. I shouldn't have been shocked at this news really. I had been getting in a lot of trouble as of late and I was already close to expulsion before being falsely accused of cheating.

I was starting to shake now. I could feel the power of my inner wolf inside of me.

"You're on drugs aren't you?! That's why you've been acting this way!" he screamed at me suddenly even angrier.

I got even angrier that he would think so lowly of me.

"No I am not. Now move out of my way" I said angrily. Instead of moving he grabbed onto me.

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me where you've been all night!" he said.

"I can't tell you anything! Now let go!" I screamed, my shaking was getting worse now.

"You're shaking. You must be on drugs! That would explain why you've been out all night! You're stupid, selfish, and I really hate you right now because you care about nobody but yourself!" he screamed at me.

I attempted to push him away from me, but it was to late. My hand had been to close to his face when I phased. My claw slashed the right half of his face creating a nearly identical injury to that of Emily Young when she was mauled by that bear so many years ago.

Oh god no I've killed him! I kept saying to myself when he lost conscious half a minute later. No! No! No!

Completely overcome by panic I ran. I wasn't sure where I was going. I couldn't think or do anything. I heard the others in my head. My dad had witnessed the event as it happened since he was still in wolf form when it happened.

I couldn't calm myself down enough to phase back into a human to go see my brother. Now he would truly think that I was a monster.

I was completely inconsolable for a few hours. Nothing and no one would be able to calm me down. No matter how hard I tried to calm down, I just couldn't.

Then I saw a large jet black wolf appear.

"_Calm down. Everything's okay" _the wolf said. It sounded like Sam.

"_It is Sam. I came looking for you because I found out about what happened. I can help you" _he said.

"_How can you help me?_" I asked.

"_I've been in your place before. I know exactly how you feel" _he said.

"_What do you mean?"_ I asked.

"_I'm talking about Emily. I had the exact same accident with her that you had with your brother. I know how you feel. I know how it feels to think that you accidentally killed someone you love so much" _he said.

"_It's an awful feeling, I know. I'm here to help you calm down" _he said.

"_How can I be calm?" _I asked.

"_Your brother is going to be fine. He woke up about an hour ago" _he said.

"_How is he?" _I asked.

"_Unfortunately he's going to be scarred now. The important thing is that he's going to be okay. His injuries weren't life threatening" _he said.

I did feel calmer now that I knew he was going to be fine, but that didn't stop me from feeling extremely guilty about what I had done.

"_He's looking for you" _he said.

"_He is?" _I was shocked, I was sure that he would truly hate me now.

"_Yes he is. He's been very worried about you from the second that he woke up. He's more worried about you then he is about himself" _he said.

I'm the one who injured him and he's worried about me?

"_He loves you Carlie. He really does" _he said.

I had to see him now.

**Please Review**


	5. Reconciliation

**Chapter 5: Reconciliation**

**Carlie's POV**

I had to see my brother now. There was just no way that he could forgive me that easily. I scarred him for life, he must hate me now. He would have every reason to hate me. I couldn't stand the thought of him hating me. He stopped caring about me a long time ago, that I could handle, but the idea of him hating me was just to much to bear.

"_Follow me Carlie" _Sam said.

"_Okay Sam" _I said.

I chased after him as he led me to wherever it was that my brother was at.

"_He's at the Cullens right now with Carlisle. Carlisle is the first person we think of when it comes to supernatural wounds" _Sam said.

That made a lot of sense. My grandfather was the best doctor for these supernatural wounds, considering that he himself was a vampire. I still had a lot of trouble processing that bit of information. I live in a family of vampires and shape shifters. The idea of my grandfather being a bloodsucking monster that people would normally fear was just really strange. I mean, my grandfather is such a nice guy. Carlisle wasn't really my grandfather, but I still considered him to be my grandfather anyway.

By the time that we had arrived at the Cullen house I still had not calmed down enough to phase back. I was so afraid of how my brother was going to react when he saw me again. I know that Sam said that my brother really loves me, but for some reason I didn't believe him.

"_Stay here" _Sam said.

"_Okay" _I responded.

Sam came back a few minutes later as a human. He went inside while I waited.

"Where is Carlie?" I heard dad ask.

"She's outside, she can't calm down enough to phase back. She thinks her brother hates her now"Sam said.

"My sister really thinks that I'm even capable of hating her?" I heard my brother ask. My heart pounded a little faster when I heard his voice.

"Yes she does. She thinks that you stopped caring about her a long time ago" Sam said.

"Why would my sister think those things?" Jace asked, he sounded sad now.

"She thought your distance from her these past few months meant that you stopped caring about her. Now she truly believes that you hate her because of the accident" Sam said.

My brother sounded like he was about to cry now. "Please let me see her. I need to talk to her" he said.

"Okay" dad said. "But she won't be able to talk to you until she phases back, she will understand you though"

"That's fine" Jace said.

The door opened and they let me in. Immediately this place reeked of something that smelled sickly sweet. How had I not noticed the scent before?

I went inside and followed my dad to the room where my brother was. Everyone in the house left after that; to give us some privacy I'm sure.

I found the courage to look at my brother. Half of his face was covered in bandages. Tears the size of baseballs began to fall out of my eyes.

"Carlie please come here" Jace begged.

I walked over to him and the first thing that he did was to wipe away the tears that were falling, even though the tears were soaking his hands. It reminded me of the way my brother would wipe away my tears when we were kids.

"No more crying, okay? And please no more disappearing acts. You're going to give me a heart attack" he said.

I rolled my eyes at him which made him smile.

"Carlie, I am so sorry for the way that I've been acting towards you these past few months. I never meant to hurt you and I've never stopped caring about you. You're my sister, I could never stop loving you and caring about you" he said.

This was really twisted. I'm the one that needs to be apologizing to him, not the other way around.

"I could never hate you Carlie. What happened was an accident, an accident that I provoked" he said.

I growled at him in response. How could he think that this was his fault?! I'm the one that should've been in better control of my emotions.

"Oh Carlie, I don't need to read your mind to know what you are thinking. It is at least partially my fault, I should've listened to you and I should've never said those things to you. I'm so sorry Carlie, I never meant any of those ugly things that I said to you. Not a single word. I'm so sorry" he said. Then he started crying himself. Now I was the one licking his tears away. That just made him laugh.

Then he started running his hands through my fur and he scratched me behind the ears like if I was a dog; which I sort of was actually. Then he kissed my snout.

"Can you please phase back now? I want to know what you're thinking. I want to know exactly what happened to you yesterday and last night" he said.

Oddly enough, I felt calm enough that I could phase back.

I nodded yes to him and left.

Some one left me a pair of my sweatpants and sweatshirt; very conveniently I might add. All it took was a few seconds for me to turn back.

I went back in the room to see him smiling at me.

"I'm so sorry Jace. I really am. I should have been in been in control of myself" I said as I ran up to him and hugged him.

"It's okay Carlie, I'm not mad at you and I most definitely do not hate you" he said.

"How can you not be mad? I mean, I scarred you for life" I said.

"because it was an accident that I provoked" he said.

"Don't you go blaming yourself for this" I said.

"If I wouldn't have said those god awful lies to you then it would have never happened. If I would have just let you explain this wouldn't have happened. Dad also made it very clear that young wolves have a difficult time controlling their tempers in the beginning, it's not your fault" he said.

"It's not yours either" I said.

"Let's just try to get past this together. Okay?" he said.

"Okay" I said.

"By the way, I think that turning into a wolf is totally awesome" he said. I rolled my eyes at that. Trust my brother to think that the powers that hurt him are totally awesome.

"There's a good chance that it can happen to you to" I said.

"I know, dad already told me. In fact, Carlisle took a blood sample from me. He wants to test it and see if I have the right amount of chromosomes for shifting. Anyways, enough about me. I want you to tell me exactly what happened yesterday. Start from the very beginning" he said.

I took a deep breath before starting. "It all started in History class yesterday. Jessica falsely accused me of cheating on the test and then the teacher didn't believe me when I told her that I did nothing wrong. I started getting more and more upset and before I knew it I was screaming at her. She sent me to the principle's office but I never went. That's when I ditched school. It turned out to be a good thing because that's when I first phased. You have no idea how scared I was. I was panic stricken and I ran away. I didn't know how to turn back yet. A couple of hours later I saw dad in his car looking for me. That's when I figured out that he knew about what was happening to me. I tried to get him to recognize me, but I failed miserable. He actually ran me over when I didn't move-"

"He did what?!" Jace screamed and scared the living crap out of me.

"Don't worry, I jumped out of the way and he only ran over my paw which is now my hand. It didn't heal correctly" I said.

"I can't believe that he would do that!" Jace was seething now.

"Dad felt really bad about that later. He wanted me to run him over as some sort of revenge. I basically told him that he was nuts" I said.

"Dad is crazy" he said. "anyways continue"

"I ran back to the cave that I had been in. A couple of hours later dad found me while I was sleeping. He didn't know who I was at first, but then he figured it out. We spent the night together as wolves" I said.

"I'm so sorry Carlie" Jace said.

"What are you apologizing for now?" I asked.

"For being so cruel with you" he said.

"It's okay. Now I know that you were angry because you did care, because you were so worried about me" I said.

"I was. You have no idea how scared I was all night just imagining the worst things" he said. "Don't ever do that to me again"

"I won't. I promise" I said.

"I hope that I do turn into a wolf to. It seems really cool" he said.

"After this you want to become a monster like me?!" I all but shouted at him.

"Carlie you are not a monster. Don't ever repeat those words again" he said sternly.

"Okay but why do you want to be a wolf?" I asked.

"Because it's cool that's why. There's nothing cool about me right now" he said.

"What are you talking about? You are the coolest person that I know. Everything about you is amazing. Heck even you name is awesome, I mean you have the same name as that mortal instruments guy. That in itself is pretty awesome" I said.

"Okay, okay" he said.

It felt really nice to talk to my brother again. I still felt very guilty about what happened, but he didn't hate me for it. We still had that strong brother-sister bond that I was so sure was severed a long time ago.

Everyone else came back after that. Carlisle took a look at my hand and wrist. It was kind of painful since he had to re break some of the bones so that they would heal correctly.

"What are you doing?" I asked when I saw that he was holding a needle.

"Your brother does have the right amount of chromosomes for shifting. This has created quite an ordeal in the pack since they can't figure out who your parents are. So they've decided that they want to do a paternity test to find out who your father is" Carlisle said.

I was eager to find out who my father was as well. So I let him take a blood sample. Unfortunately it would take him a couple of days to finish the test.

Three days later our lives were changed drastically. We were sitting in our kitchen eating when the doorbell rang. It was Carlisle and he had a strange look on his face.

"What's wrong Carlisle?" Jacob asked.

"I finished the paternity test Jacob" he said.

"and?" he said.

"You were the only member of the pack that was a genetic match. I have a sample of Nessie's blood from years ago, she was also a genetic match. You and Nessie are the biological parents of Carlie and Jace" he explained.

**Please Review**


	6. Nessie

**Chapter 6: Nessie**

**Jacob's POV**

I stood there in shock at what Carlisle had just said. My two children, my babies whom I loved so much were mine and Nessie's biological children?

"They're mine?" I asked in my state of shock.

"Yes Jacob, you are the father of these two" Carlisle said.

I couldn't believe that they were really mine and Nessie's to. Just thinking of her made the hole in my heart throb painfully. Years had not made the wound of her mysterious disappearance heal. But adding in our kids just brings up a lot more questions.

"I don't understand anything" I said.

"Neither do I Jacob. This just makes her disappearance all the more confusing" Carlisle said.

There was a big part of me that was happy that I had raised our children. I had unknowingly raised our kids. Now I understood why I always felt such a powerful connection to them from the moment that I first saw them.

Now I understood why I was chosen to raise them. None of this made any sense though. Why would Nessie disappear without a trace and then abandon her own children? I was angry at her for doing this, but I was also very confused to. Nessie was always such a great, caring, and kind hearted person. She loved babies and children, so her actions made no sense whatsoever.

"Who is Nessie?" Carlie asked. I looked over at her and Jace who both had looks of confusion on their faces. It dawned on me right then that neither I or the Cullens ever talked about Nessie in front of them.

"Her real name was Renesmee, but we always called her Ness or Nessie. She was, no is still the love of my life. She was Edward's and Bella's daughter, she was half human and half vampire. I loved her so much that it still hurts. She disappeared one day without a trace" I said, I was on the verge of tears by the end

"Does that mean that we also have vampire in us?" Jace asked. That actually hadn't occurred to me until he asked.

"Yes, although you two seem closer to human and shape shifter then to vampire" Carlisle answered.

"We have to find her!" I shouted. "We have to find her! We have to find out what happened, we need answers!" I shouted.

"I know Jacob, I know" Carlisle said.

This was just to much for me to bare at the moment.

"Look Jacob, we were just about to go to Seattle. There is a problem with some newborns that have been attracting a lot of attention lately. If you want you can come with us to help get your mind off of things for now" he said.

"Okay" I said.

"We don't plan on killing them though. We plan on talking to them and maybe taking them in" he said.

"That's fine" I said.

With that we left.

**Nessie's POV**

I hated my life, I really did. Everything about my life was just so dark, depressing, and monstrous for the past 16 years. What choice did I have though? Accepting this way of life was the only way that I was able to ensure the safety of the ones that I loved so much. There was just no way that I could ever escape this life now. It was either stay here and live and protect my family, or leave and everyone I love dies.

It all started on a perfectly normal day 16 years ago.

_**Flashback**_

My whole family was away for the day hunting and Jacob couldn't hang out with me because he had some important pack business to attend to.

So I was alone in the big house when I went outside and found a letter on the front doorstep. Which was odd because we never got any mail. It was specifically addressed to me.

Curiously, I opened it up.

_Dear Renesmee, _

_It has been a long time since we have last seen each other. We have been in great anxiety as we know nothing about your species at all. We of the Volturi have decided that you are to great of a threat to be allowed to continue living. We will come for you and we will destroy you and the rest of the Cullens and that pack of wolves that have allied with the Cullens against us. We will come for you and we will come soon. _

_ Sincerely, _

_Aro_

My heart started pounding, and my whole body started shaking. I couldn't have my family be in danger again because of me. So in that moment I did the first thing that I thought of. I ran. I took extra care to cover up my scent by running through mud, water, and large crowds. Instead of endangering my family needlessly, I was going to go to the Volturi and hope that they would just be satisfied with my death alone. Once I reached the Seattle airport I purchased a one way ticket to Italy. In less then a day I found myself outside of the Volturi castle. I took a deep breath before going inside. This was it for me. This was the end.

They were all surprised to see me.

"Renesmee what are you doing here? You want your destruction to be over with quickly?" Aro asked.

"I came here because I want you to kill me only. Leave my family and the wolves out of this. They are innocent" I said.

"No, we can't let them live. They will want to avenge your death, so they must die to" Caius said.

"No, please" I begged.

"I'm sorry" Marcus said

"Please, I will do anything, but let them live" I begged, little did I know that those words would seal my fate.

"You will do anything so they could live?" Aro asked.

"Yes, absolutely anything" I said.

"Okay, we'll not only let them live, but we'll let you live to but in exchange for one thing only" Aro said.

"What is it?" I asked cautiously.

"As a hybrid of both vampires and humans you are unique, and you could also have a lot of potential. If you become a permanent member of the guard we'll pardon you, your family, and those wolves" Aro said.

"Okay" I said.

_**End of flashback**_

It wasn't long after that that I discovered that I was pregnant with my two babies. The Volturi were all very interested in my children since they would be a mixture of three different species. I didn't want my children to grow up here with the Volturi. I wanted them to have a peaceful and normal life far away from this place. It was not easy at all, but somehow I was able to convince Aro to let me take my children back so that Jacob could raise our children.

Once I was close to giving birth I was allowed to go back to Forks. Jane, Felix, and Alec were forced to go with me just in case I had any ideas about going back to my family. I came back to Volterra two days after I had given birth.

Leaving my children was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do. I still think about them every single day. It saddens me. I don't even know their names.

In the years that followed I quickly rose through the ranks of the Volturi guard for two reasons. Number one, we discovered that I had inherited my mother's shield and number two, I was a very skilled fighter. I was almost as strong Felix, which was weird considering that I'm half vampire. Nonetheless I was a highly valued member of the Volturi. I was on equal footing with Jane and Alec now.

I still hunted only animals, that was a part of me that I refused to change. It was my only way of holding onto humanity. The Volturi had tried numerous times to convert me to my "natural food source" as they called it, but they failed miserably.

"Renesmee" I heard Aro say.

"Yes master" I said.

"We have a problem with some newborns in Seattle that are threatening exposure. We need you, Jane, Alec, and Felix to deal with the problem immediately" he said.

"Yes master" I said. The words tasted like vile coming out of my mouth.

We left that very day. When Aro wanted something done, he wanted it done swiftly and promptly. Delaying would just get us in a lot of trouble.

Once we landed a feeling of nostalgia washed over me. This was the first time since I had given birth that I was in Washington. It made the hole in my heart ache.

We found the newborns pretty easily, but I was shocked to hear familiar voices as we approached.

"Hello there Carlisle" Jane said.

"Oh no" I heard somebody whisper.

"These newborns didn't know what they were doing. Please we'll take responsibility for them" I heard grandma Esme said.

"The Volturi don't give second chances" Felix said.

I held my breath as we approached them. They still hadn't noticed me. I didn't want them to notice me and see what I've become.

My whole family was there, even Jacob.

"Jacob" I whispered in a moment of shock.

Then everyone's eyes snapped to me. They stared at me in shock and astonishment. I looked down as they stared at me in the dark Volturi cloak that I was now forced to wear.

**This is going to be the last update for now because tonight I'm leaving on vacation and I won't have access to a computer until I get back next week. Anyways, in the mean time please review and let me know what you think. **


	7. Reunited

**Chapter 7: Reunited**

**Nessie's POV**

I refused to make eye contact with any member of my family. Nobody moved, talked, or even breathed. The newborns had been entirely forgotten by both my family, and us, the Volturi. We were all in a situation that none of us had anticipated.

"Nessie" I heard both my mother and father say in unison. There was a mixture of so many different emotions in their voices that I could hardly tell one from the other. I continued to stare at my feet as I felt everyone's eyes on me. What wouldn't I give to have my father's power to know what everyone was thinking right at this very second?

I felt the tears beginning to sting my eyes. My family was right here within my grasp and yet they were still so far away. I could never return to them. I was in the Volturi for life now. Aro, Caius, and Marcus would never let me go willingly because of my extremely high ranking status.

I felt managed to tear my eyes away from the ground and look at my family. I could see all of the emotions behind their eyes. My eyes lingered on my father the longest. I could almost see all of the questions behind his eyes. Then I had an idea. I could mentally tell him everything that happened to me, that way they'd know why I had done this. That way that I could put an end to all the questions they must've had over the years. That way they'd know why I made the decision that I made. So I lifted my shield and thought everything over just for him. I told him about the note, about me leaving to Volterra so that they would kill only me and not everyone else. I told him about the deal that Aro offered me. Then I told him about the pregnancy and the brief amount of time that I was allowed to come back.

My father looked angrier and angrier as I gave him my full story. Suddenly the situation became way to much for me to handle and I ran without looking back. I ran until I was sure that I was far away from everyone. What was I going to do now? Now that my family knew where I was would they try to look for me? Or would they be to mad and disappointed in me to even bother? I contemplated this for a long time.

Then suddenly a warm hand covered my mouth and another warm arm wrapped around my body to prevent me from escaping. I tried to escape but my captor's arms only held me tighter to his body.

"I'm not letting you go Nessie. I'm never letting you go ever again. I lost you once and I will not lose you again" came a husky voice that I immediately recognized as Jacob's. It was a voice that I would never ever in my entire life forget. It flooded me with warmth and happiness. Finally for the first time in 16 years the hole in my heart was healed.

"I'm never letting you go again" he repeated.

Then the rest of my family appeared. What happened to Jane, Alec, and Felix?

"What happened with the rest of those blood suckers?" Jacob asked as if he could read my mind.

"They're gone for now" Carlisle said. Then I was ripped from Jacob's arms. I was tossed around from family member to family member. Everyone was sobbing, nothing but pure happiness and love seemed to radiate from them. Everything was a blur and I couldn't keep tell who was holding me and kissing me to death. I told them how much I loved them and missed them all.

"I think we should get you home Nessie" grandpa said. "There is a lot that we need to talk about" he added.

I sighed in nervousness. This was a conversation that I could not avoid. "Okay" I said.

I followed them home in silence. I never thought that I'd have to face my family. Never say never I guess. I just never imagined that I would be back home with my loving and happy family again. It seemed way to unreal. There was no way that the Volturi leaders would allow this. I was considered as valuable as Jane and Alec now. They would never give me up, not ever.

The first thing that happened when I got home was that my grandfather ripped the cloak right off of my body leaving me in just my underwear.

"I'm sorry Nessie, but I just can't stand looking at you in this cloak any longer" he said before disappearing with it and reappearing moments later with a set of new clothes for me to.

"Nessie what happened?" Jacob's voice was cracking.

I took a deep breath as my family looked at me expectantly. "16 years ago I got a letter from the Volturi saying that they thought I was to much of a threat to remain alive so they were going to come kill me, the pack, and the rest of my family. I couldn't allow that to happen so that very day I left to Volterra to convince them to kill only me instead of all of us. I was not going to let any of you die because of me. Instead of killing me they offered me a deal. They told me that if I joined the Volturi guard that they'd pardon me and the rest of us. If I joined them and stayed with them forever then none of you would ever be harmed. So that's what I did. I realized that I was pregnant not long after. At first they didn't want to let my children go once I had them. Aro was very interested in them, but I convinced him to let me bring them back here. So right before I was due to give birth I came back and I had them. I left them with Jacob because he's the father. After that I went back" I said.

"Why would you do this?!" Jacob shouted.

"I told you that I did it to protect all of you" I said.

"It was stupid! That's what it was! You should've never done thay! We would've protected you. We would've saved you from them!" Dad shouted.

"How? There was no other way. I couldn't let you all die for me" I said.

"Nessie" grandpa began. "Your absence has brought so much pain and suffering to this whole family. We love you and would've done anything to protect you. We would rather die then let you sacrifice yourself to them either by dying or joining them" he said.

"Nessie don't ever do this to us again. What you should've done is told us about that letter" Mom said.

"What are we going to do now?" Grandma asked.

"I don't know. They're not going to let me go this easily. I'm considered to be as valuable as Jane and Alec now" I said.

"Why?" grandpa asked.

"I discovered that I inherited mom's shield one day and I'm a very highly skilled fighter" I said.

"Oh my" mom said.

"Then we'll fight them" Jacob said. "We'll kill all of them so they could never bother us or anyone else again" Jacob said in a menacing way.

"As much as I hate killing I have to agree with Jacob. It's the only way that we'll ever be at peace" grandpa said. Everyone else agreed.

Just then a doorbell rang. "It's Carlie and Jace" Jacob said.

"Who?" I asked.

Jacob smiled at me. "Our son and daughter. Come with me so you could meet them"

I followed him.

"You gave her my middle name?" I could feel tears of happiness in my eyes.

"Yup, it was in memory of you" he said and then opened the door.

**Please Review**


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